a time to laugh

ernestanderson

Rev. E. Anderson

A CHILD’S FUNNY

“Teacher,” announced little Joey, “there’s somethin’ I can’t figger out.”
“What’s that Joey?” asked the Sunday school teacher.

“Well accordin’ to the Bible, the Children of Israel crossed the Red Sea, right?”

“Right.”

“An’ the Children of Israel beat up the Philistines, right?”

“Er–right.”

“An’ the Children of Israel built the Temple, right?”

“Again you’re right.”

“An’ the Children of Israel fought the ‘gyptians, an’ the Children of Israel fought the Romans, an’ the Children of Israel wuz always doin’ somethin’ important, right?”

“All that is right, too,” agreed the teacher. “So what’s your question?”

“What I wanna know is this,” demanded Joey. “What wuz all the grown-ups doin’g?

 A HEAVENLY FUNNY

“If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into Heaven?” I asked the children in my Sunday School class.
“NO!” the children all answered.

“If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?”

Again, the answer was, “NO!”

“Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children, and loved my wife, would that get me into Heaven?” I asked them again.

Again, they all answered, “NO!”

“Well,” I continued, “then how can I get into Heaven?”

A five-year-old boy shouted out, “YOU GOTTA BE DEAD!”

GOLFER FUNNY

Golfer 1: “Why are you so late?”

Golfer 2: “I had to toss a coin between going to church or playing golf and it took 25 tosses to get it right!”

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