Rev. E. Anderson
A SELFISH PRAYER
A mom was driving her five year old son to McDonald’s one day and they passed a car accident. Whenever the Mom saw something terrible like that, she would always say a prayer for those who might be hurt, so she pointed and said to her son, “We should pray.”
From the back seat she heard his earnest request: “Please, God, don’t let those cars block the entrance to McDonald’s.”
CURIOSITY
A teacher was finishing up a lesson on the joys of discovery and the importance of curiosity. “Where would we be today,” she asked, “if no one had ever been curious?”
One child quietly spoke up from the back of the room. “In the garden of Eden?”
AN APT RESPONSE
A young guy in a two-engine fighter was flying escort for a B-52 and generally being a nuisance, acting like a hot dog, flying rolls around the lumbering old bomber.
The hot dog said over the air, “Anything you can do, I can do better.”
The veteran bomber pilot answered, “Try this hot-shot.” The B-52 continued its flight, straight and level.
Perplexed, the hot dog asked, “So? What did you do?”
“I just shut down two engines, kid.”
BULL’S EYE
One of the best marksmen in the FBI was passing through a small town, and was astonished to notice evidence of the most amazing shooting. On trees, on walls, and on fences there were numerous bull’s-eyes with a bullet hole in dead centre of each one.
The FBI man asked a local resident about the person responsible for this wonderful marksmanship. The resident introduced him to the shooter. “This is the best marksmanship I have ever seen,” said the FBI man. “How in the world do you do it?”
“Nothing to it,” said the man. “I shoot first and draw the circles afterward.”
LITTLE JOHN THE BAPTIST
Johnny’s Mother looked out the window and noticed him “playing church” with their cat.
He had the cat sitting quietly and he was preaching to it. She smiled and went about her work.
A while later she heard loud meowing and hissing and ran back to the open window to see Johnny.
baptizing the cat in a tub of water.
She called out, “Johnny, stop that! The cat is afraid of water!”
Johnny looked up at her and said, “He should have thought about that before he joined
my church.”
A passenger jet was suffering through a severe thunderstorm. As the passengers were being bounced around by the turbulence a young woman turned to a minister sitting next to her and with a nervous laugh asks, “Reverend, you’re a man of God, can’t you do something about this storm?”
To which he replies, “Lady, I’m in sales, not management.”
today’sTHO’T
The devil is the father of lies, but he neglected to patent the idea, and the business now suffers from competition.
