Rev. E. Anderson
PASTOR BLOOPERS
Tough search committee
The chairman of our pastor search committee informed the congregation: “Next Sunday
our visiting preacher will be the Rev. Bill Oaks. If you would like to see the other
preacher candidates, you will find them hanging in the vestibule.”
And with you….
In our Anglican Church, each service begins with a greeting. The officiating
clergyman says, “The Lord be with you.” The congregation used to respond by saying,
“And with thy spirit.” But, with the modernizing of the liturgy, the minister now
says, “The Lord be with you.” and everyone responds with, “And also with you.” One
Sunday a visiting bishop went to a church where the sound system was known to be old
and unreliable. As he approached the microphone, he tapped it several times and
finally said, “There’s something wrong with this!” Without hesitation the whole
congregation answered faithfully, “And also with you.”
Pomp and what?
A few years ago our choir did a Christmas Cantata at our church. On the evening of
our first performance we were all lined up outside the Sanctuary waiting to march in
to the opening strains of the overture. Our Pastor wanted us to march in time with
the music so his final instructions were as follows: ” Everybody march in like you
did at your high school graduation. You know, Pomp and Circumcision.” We all broke
out in a fit of laughter and it took several minutes to regain enough composure to
march in. –Lee Taylor
On leadership
On pastor appreciation day one of our deacons was speaking for a few minutes about
how he appreciated the pastor. He related that it was a tough job being a leader and
explained that it was like a flock of migrating geese. The lead goose forming the
point of the flying V formation works the hardest because he was “Breaking Wind” for
all the other geese! And all this time I thought the geese were just honking as they
flew overhead! A few of us caught the blooper and chuckled, the rest looked
bewildered or attempted to not show they caught the funny! —”Hillbilly”
Dinner death
Our church would have a chicken dinner to raise money a couple of times a year. One
Sunday there were beautiful flowers at the front of the church. I mentioned that
they were given “in memory of Frank Wilson who came to our chicken dinner last week
and went home and died.” I did not mean to infer that he died from eating the
chicken, but that’s the way it came out. —Wayne Hogue
Crazy minister
A local pastor asked his sexton to post the title of his sermon on the signboard
outside the church to read “Are Ministers Crazy?”
Not hearing this as a question, the sexton posted, “Our Minister’s Crazy” much to
the amusement of the community. –Ron Owens at The Funny Pharmacy
Weight loss hymn
We had just had a “Weigh-down Workshop” and many people in our church lost weight.
During announcement time we congratulated the participants and made a big deal out
of their weight loss. It was about that time we all realized there had been a typo
in the bulletin item just below it. Instead of listing “I Am Thine O Lord” the
bulletin listed the next song as, “I Am Thin O Lord.” (Angie)
